Wednesday, June 06, 2007

This morning I dreamt about my father. In my dream I knew he was dead, so when I saw him, I ran over to him and gave him a great big hug. He was wearing a peach-colored golf shirt. I hugged him and told him how happy I was to see him. But he didn't really respond to me, except to say that the coffee smelled good. All my family was there and they could see him, too, but he didn't see us. I think this is only the first or maybe second time I've dreamt about him since he died. So immediately on waking, I burst into tears. I still cry when I think about it. And I had been doing so well recently. It's like all the pain has come back. Usually those kinds of dreams for me are comforting -- almost like you've had a visit with your loved one -- but I think in this case the emotions are too new and raw so it was upsetting rather than comforting.

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