Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Java update

So Java came home on Monday. We were shocked to find that her left leg was almost completely paralyzed. The worst thing was the pain, though. When she moved around, she'd still snork and we could tell that she was still really uncomfortable. Dr. Silver said she wanted Java to come back on Tuesday for a more thorough exam.

I was happy to bring Java back, because I'm not very good at witnessing her pain. I hate it and tend to withdraw. I guess I'm not a very strong person in that way. I remember one time when I spent the night with Sarah and brand new baby Elizabeth, who ended up crying all night. It killed me. Not because the crying annoyed me, but because it killed me that she was crying and there was nothing I could do to alleviate whatever was bothering her. I hate that helplessness and that's how I feel with Java in pain.

Anyway, I brought Java to Woburn yesterday to see Dr. Silver. We have been managing the back pain medically for two years now and it was the worst it has ever been. Dr. Silver asked what we were thinking. I told her that if she thought it was feasible and there was a chance of success that we were thinking surgery. Of course I had been thinking surgery since 2009, but Dr. Silver always advised against it as the risks outweighed the benefits at that point. Now, Dr. Silver said the benefits would probably outweigh the risks. So we agreed on an MRI and then if that showed surgery would be required then she'd go ahead and do it.

The MRI showed that the left-bulging disc was worse than it was in September and it was what was causing the paralysis in her left leg. So she operated. There was a lot of old, crusty, hardened stuff because it was an old bulging disc. She took out what she could and got some fibrousy stuff out. She said it was a wait and see thing now as to if it was enough.

Her tech called this morning and said that Java had a good night. She was up and walking around, but there was still weakness and some pain, so she's on an IV and is receiving painkillers. They are going to keep her very quiet and lying down today. We will visit her this evening.

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