Sunday, March 18, 2007

I am having a great time in the Larry Scott class. He's an excellent teacher. Plus he knows great talent when he sees it. Did I actually say that? LOL. He did tell me that I was very good and that he would now have to kill me. I was very happy. Not at the killing part, but at the being good part. It feels so good to be back behind the torch. It had been so long. I hope the nice weather of last week comes back quickly so I can get started with making beads for my show.

The last two days has also been a very nice distraction. It's nice to forget for a few hours how sad you are. I know my father would want me to have fun and to not think about him with sadness, but it's easier said than done. It's so bizarre to me how someone can be here one day and then gone the next. Life is so fragile. I think back and I'm so happy that I called him a lot these last few months. Every time I spoke to him on the phone, I told him I loved him. Every time I left him, I gave him a kiss. All because I was so afraid that he would leave me suddenly and so I wanted my last memories of him to be good ones. I was always thinking like that. When we'd make plans for the future -- going to see "The Producers" or going on a transatlantic crossing on the QM2 -- I'd always wonder in the back of my mind if he would still be around when the time came to do those things. Maybe it's not normal to have those kinds of thoughts, but I couldn't help it. I was so dreading this time.

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